Friday, January 23, 2009

Great Library Assistant Wisecracks:

Over the years i've heard some classic lines from my much-loved colleaugues and borrowers and it's about time I started cataloguing the treasure house of one-liners for future generations of Library Assistants... ps the 2nd wisecrack was made by me, and actually i wasnt joking, so the joke is on me...


Borrower: According to your computer I’ve expired!
Library Assistant: Well you look remarkably well considering…

Borrower: I want one of the Lonely Planets…
Library Assistant: Which planet would you like to go to?

Borrower: I just rang to enquire if the Library has a policy of only employing half-wits?
Library Assistant: Absolutely not!! As an Equal Opportunity Employer we follow the same non-discriminatory policy that applies to Borrowers.

Borrower: I have several reservations…
Library Assistant: I have reservations about almost everything.

Borrower: This request may sound a little strange…
Library Assistant: To a public librarian nothing sounds strange.

Borrower: I need help…
Library Assistant: Financial, Ethical or Intellectual?

Borrower: I’m after a book but I cant remember the title or author
Library Assistant: Was it “Memory: How we Use it, Lose it and Improve it” by David Samuel?

Borrower: I just saw an interesting book on the returns shelf, it was about Mental Birth Control…
Library Assistant: It was mine and with 5 kids I can’t recommend the item.